Encountering the Reckless, Raging Fury

Hi there, it's been a while...I know, I know, don't hate. Just be glad there's an update! (wow, that actually rhymed, cool).

There's this book I've been reading with a friend about the life of Rich Mullins. Just another man I guess...I wasn't even sold on reading the book even after I bought it but then came the "hook" in the foreword by Brennan Manning - "His (Rich's) vivid awareness of his own brokenness made it existentially impossible to sit in judgment on the sins of others."

For someone who has struggled in the past with casting judgment on others (i.e., me), this was definitely intriguing to say the least. I want to feel that; I want to live like that. I want to know what it's like to see others the way God sees them, absent from my own lenses of discrimination, however subconscious it may be.

What I learned today about God's love - His "Reckless, Raging Fury":

"God loves us with an INTENSE love...He pursues us...It's not God loves you if you're good, it's not God loves you if He's having a good day. It's God loves you desperately, passionately--and it's a hard thing to get ahold of...But I think it's time to get past the twentieth-century and get into the way things really are."
I've met people who see Christianity as a place where "weak" people go. Damn right. I'm glad to not be living the lie of a perfect life anymore. That is so exhausting. Being authentic is a much better way to go. But there's still something terribly wrong when I find more "real" people outside of the church than inside. Interesting. God's love is "intense," not this lame, girly, frilly, fickle thing that comes and goes and only resides in 'nice' people.

"Love is our deepest reason for existence."
"The failure to find this love comprises our deepest pain and drives us (often subconsciously) into activities that we think will help us find it."
We live for love, true. I have chased many a "sexy carrot" in my life, that's for sure - http://www.donaldmillerwords.com/images/DonRabbit.pdf
I love that story about Don Rabbit. It reminds me of all the chapters in my life where I think achieving these great things will somehow validate me. Only to find that I choke on it and end up broken and then later, grateful for the experience...

"Continual failure becomes the devil's playground, for in them he whispers things like 'See, you are a sham, a fake, a sinner, and God knows it. You are deluding yourself if you think he really loves you.' If we pay heed to these voices of condemnation, our confidence in God's love is easily destroyed."
See this is why it's easy for intellectuals or others outside the faith to dismiss the gospel - because we lack in living BOLDLY for God. Why wouldn't they think we are "weaker?" We doubt too much and wallow in flimsy faith, hardly making a ripple for Christ in the people we work with or our neighbors, etc. We constantly settle for this stupid Americanized version of being a comfortable Christian, and it's crap. There's more depth out there people. Yes, and it may come with more pain. Oh wait, here's an idea: Rejoice in your pain maybe?! Or you can just complain about it to others and join in with the rest of people in thinking life is about getting to that cozy spot...what a sham.

"...So don't get so hung up about how important you are in the Kingdom of God or how important you are to the growth of the church. It seems that God is always saying, 'I'm not worried so much about how you're doing as much as I'm glad about who you are.' The Scripture also says don't get too hung up in your failures, your weaknesses, or your addictions - it doesn't make you separate from God because he still loves you."
I can rest in this. I may have to read it 1000 times but eventually I will accept this Love that has been freely offered to me. This idea of being loved despite my behavior, or being accepted regardless of my weaknesses - that's something to ponder.

Today, the love of God became deeper and "bigger" to me. And yet I love how the gospel is still so simple at the same time.

I think there's so much more beauty to be experienced in truly coming to terms with God's love. Let us pursue it with more vigor!

God help us all.

David